Have you ever pushed your child to enroll in football because all other parents did? Or was he angry with them for a bad grade because you worry about what the teacher thinks?
You may need to check your ego at the door if you answer any of those questions.
Although not an official style of parenting, this pattern of behavior appears when a parent feels the need to assert control or protect their image, even at the expense of their child’s emotional well -being.
“Parenting the ego is when a parent is parents of their need to feel good, or not, in control or valuable,” Cheryl Groskopf’s mental health therapist told Pop Sugar.
“Less less to support a child’s growth and more for protecting the image or feelings of the parent.”
Examples of this style are refusing to withdraw to an argument, pushing a child into activities they dislike for the sake of appearances or avoiding forgiveness to preserve authority.
Dr Caroline Fenkel, an expert on teens’ mental health, warns that while ego parents are not always intentional, its effects can be long-term-and you can accidentally learn your children that your love is conditional.
“They often internalize the belief that love is conditioned – that they are only worthy when performing, behaving or feeling a certain way,” said Fenkel Pop Sugar.
This can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, low self -esteem and fear of failure.
To break the ego parenting cycle, it must first be accepted.
“When you catch yourself reacting from the ego, try to pause and ask,” Does this have to do with my child’s needs or my embarrassment? “, Advised Dr. Fenkel. “Self-awareness is the entry point to change.”
Instead of trying to gain any dispute, parents can choose to bow to curiosity: listening to their child, prove their feelings, and try to understand what is really happening.
Perhaps most importantly, learn to apologize. Acceptance when you make a mistake does not weaken your authority – it models accountability and resistance.
“When a parent admits that they were wrong, it gives a child permission to be imperfect,” says Dr. Fenkel.
“This tells them that relationships can bend without breaking, that repair is possible, and that responsibility is a force.”
Leaving ego and embracing humility creates a safer, healthier emotional environment for your children.
Parenting is not about control – it is about the connection.
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